My first and last name.
there's a song from the band ''Pantera'' which ireally like, it's name is ''great southern trendkill'' .
i tried to get the same name in lichess, but it was way too long, so instead i chose great southern snake, since a trendkill is actually a snake irl.
i tried to get the same name in lichess, but it was way too long, so instead i chose great southern snake, since a trendkill is actually a snake irl.
Here's the short answer:
In ancient times, not long after Cain killed Abel, I, Clousemsius the Great, was born. When I was a lad, I caused another guy (his name doesn't really matter, let's call him Sparky) to slip on a banana peel in a prank. Unfortunately, Sparky was carrying his car keys in his pocket, which resulted in him getting scraped. This being in the days of yore, medicine was not invented yet, and his cut became infected. Feeling a mite guilty about the whole thing, I threw Sparky in the back seat of his Peugeot, called up my friends JT and Tom-Tom, and set out to save our dumb friend who was stricken down by part of a banana.
We drove across Pangaea, searching for mystics and magicians and witchdoctors-- anyone who could cure Sparky. But alas, no one could. At one point, a particularly dumb shaman suggested that we travel beyond the urban landscape of East Atlantis into the jungle region of Gehenna, a most unfortunately named place. There, we would find the Jovian, the Lemur King. Perhaps their god would be able to help.
It was a long, arduous journey. We encountered many adventures. We fought off hamsters (they traveled in packs back then), chinchillas, and other assorted rodents. I drew up the blueprints for the Hanging Gardens to trade with a couple of Babylonians for a case of PBR. Tom-Tom was eaten by a T-Rex. JT discovered General Tso's chicken. Sparky created the Knights Templar, which was originally very different from what you'd expect (did you know that they were the world's fantasy football league?). JT and I accidentally blew up Atlantis, then blamed it on the Trojans. We befriended a T-Rex and named him Pickles. In all, we had some pretty good times.
When we finally got to Gehenna (again, not affiliated with the other Gehenna, to my knowledge), we were betrayed by the damned lemurs, who wanted to sacrifice us all to their god, Zoboomafoo. Luckily, Pickles was able to overpower our lemur captors and free us. Then began a mighty battle, that only ended after I defeated King Jovian in an epic throated hooking shield duel.
As Jovian lay there, defeated, he screeched a curse in his shrieky lemur language, then kicked the bucket.
I thought nothing of his curse, until a giant glowing lemur head emerged from beyond the clouds. This, of course was the god Zoboomafoo. He threw lightning bolts at us, killing JT, Sparky and Pickles. I responded by slapping him in the face. His voice sounded like thunder as he said:
"How dare you smite me! From now on, you will be cursed! You will live a really long time, Clousems-"
Before he could finish, I slapped him again, and said "I don't know what omnipotent lies you're selling, you shriveled up son of a monkey, but I never buy ringtail". He died.
Unfortunately, not only was the lemur god's curse true, but I also came to be known as clousems, since he didn't get to finish his curse.
In ancient times, not long after Cain killed Abel, I, Clousemsius the Great, was born. When I was a lad, I caused another guy (his name doesn't really matter, let's call him Sparky) to slip on a banana peel in a prank. Unfortunately, Sparky was carrying his car keys in his pocket, which resulted in him getting scraped. This being in the days of yore, medicine was not invented yet, and his cut became infected. Feeling a mite guilty about the whole thing, I threw Sparky in the back seat of his Peugeot, called up my friends JT and Tom-Tom, and set out to save our dumb friend who was stricken down by part of a banana.
We drove across Pangaea, searching for mystics and magicians and witchdoctors-- anyone who could cure Sparky. But alas, no one could. At one point, a particularly dumb shaman suggested that we travel beyond the urban landscape of East Atlantis into the jungle region of Gehenna, a most unfortunately named place. There, we would find the Jovian, the Lemur King. Perhaps their god would be able to help.
It was a long, arduous journey. We encountered many adventures. We fought off hamsters (they traveled in packs back then), chinchillas, and other assorted rodents. I drew up the blueprints for the Hanging Gardens to trade with a couple of Babylonians for a case of PBR. Tom-Tom was eaten by a T-Rex. JT discovered General Tso's chicken. Sparky created the Knights Templar, which was originally very different from what you'd expect (did you know that they were the world's fantasy football league?). JT and I accidentally blew up Atlantis, then blamed it on the Trojans. We befriended a T-Rex and named him Pickles. In all, we had some pretty good times.
When we finally got to Gehenna (again, not affiliated with the other Gehenna, to my knowledge), we were betrayed by the damned lemurs, who wanted to sacrifice us all to their god, Zoboomafoo. Luckily, Pickles was able to overpower our lemur captors and free us. Then began a mighty battle, that only ended after I defeated King Jovian in an epic throated hooking shield duel.
As Jovian lay there, defeated, he screeched a curse in his shrieky lemur language, then kicked the bucket.
I thought nothing of his curse, until a giant glowing lemur head emerged from beyond the clouds. This, of course was the god Zoboomafoo. He threw lightning bolts at us, killing JT, Sparky and Pickles. I responded by slapping him in the face. His voice sounded like thunder as he said:
"How dare you smite me! From now on, you will be cursed! You will live a really long time, Clousems-"
Before he could finish, I slapped him again, and said "I don't know what omnipotent lies you're selling, you shriveled up son of a monkey, but I never buy ringtail". He died.
Unfortunately, not only was the lemur god's curse true, but I also came to be known as clousems, since he didn't get to finish his curse.
@clousems It's too short, maybe add more details?
@CxliLov
I could fill up an entire forum with the details of that particular adventure. But here's an incident that I remember fondly, about how we met Pickles the T-Rex:
JT, Tom-Tom and I were in Qart Hadasht, asking Hasdrubal for directions, when a gahdam T-Rex ran out of the Starbucks, cursing up a storm.
I can remember Hasdrubal's expression when he looked at us and said "Whoah, man, that dinosaur totally needs to mellow out-- he's a total bummer!" (remember, this was long ago, when people talked like that).
The T-Rex roared and ate Hasdrubal. Tom-Tom tried to apprehend the sauropod, but he, too, was eaten.
I decided to take a different approach. "Hey, Dino-O, you need to calm down. Why don't you tell us what's bothering you".
After taking a puff of his cig, the T-Rex responded: "Well, me an' a couple of other cats was all set to play at the bar on 5th, but they got caught with some acid and had to beat the gravel. Now the squares who run the joint are totally wigged out, and they're gonna cancel my set unless I can find a bassist and a keyboardist."
I thought for a moment, and came up with a solution: "You're in luck, my reptilian compadre, because JT's great on the bass and I'm not too shabby on the keys." The T-Rex really seemed to dig the idea.
That night, we performed a swingin' set. During the crazy night that followed, the T-Rex mistook a pickle jar for his beret.
And THAT'S why we called him "Pickles".
I could fill up an entire forum with the details of that particular adventure. But here's an incident that I remember fondly, about how we met Pickles the T-Rex:
JT, Tom-Tom and I were in Qart Hadasht, asking Hasdrubal for directions, when a gahdam T-Rex ran out of the Starbucks, cursing up a storm.
I can remember Hasdrubal's expression when he looked at us and said "Whoah, man, that dinosaur totally needs to mellow out-- he's a total bummer!" (remember, this was long ago, when people talked like that).
The T-Rex roared and ate Hasdrubal. Tom-Tom tried to apprehend the sauropod, but he, too, was eaten.
I decided to take a different approach. "Hey, Dino-O, you need to calm down. Why don't you tell us what's bothering you".
After taking a puff of his cig, the T-Rex responded: "Well, me an' a couple of other cats was all set to play at the bar on 5th, but they got caught with some acid and had to beat the gravel. Now the squares who run the joint are totally wigged out, and they're gonna cancel my set unless I can find a bassist and a keyboardist."
I thought for a moment, and came up with a solution: "You're in luck, my reptilian compadre, because JT's great on the bass and I'm not too shabby on the keys." The T-Rex really seemed to dig the idea.
That night, we performed a swingin' set. During the crazy night that followed, the T-Rex mistook a pickle jar for his beret.
And THAT'S why we called him "Pickles".
@clousems said in #35:
> Here's the short answer:
>
> In ancient times, not long after Cain killed Abel, I, Clousemsius the Great, was born. When I was a lad, I caused another guy (his name doesn't really matter, let's call him Sparky) to slip on a banana peel in a prank. Unfortunately, Sparky was carrying his car keys in his pocket, which resulted in him getting scraped. This being in the days of yore, medicine was not invented yet, and his cut became infected. Feeling a mite guilty about the whole thing, I threw Sparky in the back seat of his Peugeot, called up my friends JT and Tom-Tom, and set out to save our dumb friend who was stricken down by part of a banana.
>
> We drove across Pangaea, searching for mystics and magicians and witchdoctors-- anyone who could cure Sparky. But alas, no one could. At one point, a particularly dumb shaman suggested that we travel beyond the urban landscape of East Atlantis into the jungle region of Gehenna, a most unfortunately named place. There, we would find the Jovian, the Lemur King. Perhaps their god would be able to help.
>
> It was a long, arduous journey. We encountered many adventures. We fought off hamsters (they traveled in packs back then), chinchillas, and other assorted rodents. I drew up the blueprints for the Hanging Gardens to trade with a couple of Babylonians for a case of PBR. Tom-Tom was eaten by a T-Rex. JT discovered General Tso's chicken. Sparky created the Knights Templar, which was originally very different from what you'd expect (did you know that they were the world's fantasy football league?). JT and I accidentally blew up Atlantis, then blamed it on the Trojans. We befriended a T-Rex and named him Pickles. In all, we had some pretty good times.
>
> When we finally got to Gehenna (again, not affiliated with the other Gehenna, to my knowledge), we were betrayed by the damned lemurs, who wanted to sacrifice us all to their god, Zoboomafoo. Luckily, Pickles was able to overpower our lemur captors and free us. Then began a mighty battle, that only ended after I defeated King Jovian in an epic throated hooking shield duel.
>
> As Jovian lay there, defeated, he screeched a curse in his shrieky lemur language, then kicked the bucket.
> I thought nothing of his curse, until a giant glowing lemur head emerged from beyond the clouds. This, of course was the god Zoboomafoo. He threw lightning bolts at us, killing JT, Sparky and Pickles. I responded by slapping him in the face. His voice sounded like thunder as he said:
> "How dare you smite me! From now on, you will be cursed! You will live a really long time, Clousems-"
> Before he could finish, I slapped him again, and said "I don't know what omnipotent lies you're selling, you shriveled up son of a monkey, but I never buy ringtail". He died.
> Unfortunately, not only was the lemur god's curse true, but I also came to be known as clousems, since he didn't get to finish his curse.
I'm pretty sure that god made the land in a certain way to not change
> Here's the short answer:
>
> In ancient times, not long after Cain killed Abel, I, Clousemsius the Great, was born. When I was a lad, I caused another guy (his name doesn't really matter, let's call him Sparky) to slip on a banana peel in a prank. Unfortunately, Sparky was carrying his car keys in his pocket, which resulted in him getting scraped. This being in the days of yore, medicine was not invented yet, and his cut became infected. Feeling a mite guilty about the whole thing, I threw Sparky in the back seat of his Peugeot, called up my friends JT and Tom-Tom, and set out to save our dumb friend who was stricken down by part of a banana.
>
> We drove across Pangaea, searching for mystics and magicians and witchdoctors-- anyone who could cure Sparky. But alas, no one could. At one point, a particularly dumb shaman suggested that we travel beyond the urban landscape of East Atlantis into the jungle region of Gehenna, a most unfortunately named place. There, we would find the Jovian, the Lemur King. Perhaps their god would be able to help.
>
> It was a long, arduous journey. We encountered many adventures. We fought off hamsters (they traveled in packs back then), chinchillas, and other assorted rodents. I drew up the blueprints for the Hanging Gardens to trade with a couple of Babylonians for a case of PBR. Tom-Tom was eaten by a T-Rex. JT discovered General Tso's chicken. Sparky created the Knights Templar, which was originally very different from what you'd expect (did you know that they were the world's fantasy football league?). JT and I accidentally blew up Atlantis, then blamed it on the Trojans. We befriended a T-Rex and named him Pickles. In all, we had some pretty good times.
>
> When we finally got to Gehenna (again, not affiliated with the other Gehenna, to my knowledge), we were betrayed by the damned lemurs, who wanted to sacrifice us all to their god, Zoboomafoo. Luckily, Pickles was able to overpower our lemur captors and free us. Then began a mighty battle, that only ended after I defeated King Jovian in an epic throated hooking shield duel.
>
> As Jovian lay there, defeated, he screeched a curse in his shrieky lemur language, then kicked the bucket.
> I thought nothing of his curse, until a giant glowing lemur head emerged from beyond the clouds. This, of course was the god Zoboomafoo. He threw lightning bolts at us, killing JT, Sparky and Pickles. I responded by slapping him in the face. His voice sounded like thunder as he said:
> "How dare you smite me! From now on, you will be cursed! You will live a really long time, Clousems-"
> Before he could finish, I slapped him again, and said "I don't know what omnipotent lies you're selling, you shriveled up son of a monkey, but I never buy ringtail". He died.
> Unfortunately, not only was the lemur god's curse true, but I also came to be known as clousems, since he didn't get to finish his curse.
I'm pretty sure that god made the land in a certain way to not change
only blog i have
TL;DR: dragonite is fat and derpy
TL;DR: dragonite is fat and derpy
Winston Smith is the main character from the book 1984, the "returns" part is because I was banned for allegedly cheating on my first profile, winstonsmithamm.
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