Hey people,
I always try to be a fair player and treat every opponent with respect. However, sometimes I get into situations in which it is hard to judge whether I am the rude person or my opponent... Therefore I would like to ask you to tell me what you would do in the following situations:
(1) You open a game with a high time limit as you like to have some time for thinking about your next move. Another player joins the game and puts pressure on you telling you to play faster and not waste his/her time. What would you do?
(I always tell those people politely but firmly that they have agreed to the time limit when they joined the game and that they should not have entered it if they wanted to play a fast match. Sometimes I even get insults for that remark...)
(2) Your opponent leaves the game.
As I assume that many players may have a weak internet connection, I usually wait 5 minutes for them to return. If they are not beck by then, I usually declare victory, no matter if I had an advantage in the game or not, as I don't see why I should get a bad rating only because my opponent left the game. (I still could have won even in a disadvantageous position)
(3) Your opponent commits a blunder and asks you for a take back.
As I think that chess is not only about showing your own skills, but also about taking advantage of the opponent's mistakes, I always tell those people that I never ask for take backs myself and that I never accept them. Not all people show understanding and sometimes I even get insulted for refusing to accept a take back.
Now my main question: Am I the rude person or do you think I react appropriately in these situations?
(1) Point out that the time limit is large and that they should have joined a quicker game instead.
(2) I have weak internet myself so I wait for them to time out if it's a timed game. If they were friendly then I might claim a draw instead out of respect for them. I only claim a victory without them timing out if they were rude and a chore to play with.
(3) If it was a misclick I let them takeback, otherwise the answer is no (unless they're a really bad player, way below my level, then I give them a chance for the sport of things). I never ask for takebacks myself, even if it was a misclick I try to deal with it.
Your main question: I think you're a fine person, just based off what you told us.
If you never request takebacks and don't want to grant them, turn them off (either in all matches or just rated matches) in your settings. I've had people whine about me not granting takebacks, but I've never heard a comment about having takebacks disabled.
@#1
(1)
Opponent has agreed to the same time control.
No reason to press the other player to play faster. Silly behavior from them.
In real life sometimes people play without chess clock.
In those cases it can make sense to friendly urge the other player to make a move when they start to use loads of time suddenly.
(2)
Lichess handles this very nicely.
If you feel bad for your opponent, you can even choose to take a draw instead of a victory. Splendid Lichess !
(3)
Takebacks in online chess are a bit silly imho.
Years ago I sometimes allowed takebacks when playing chess for fun against a 5 year old neighbor, who just started with chess.
Really obvious mouse slips could be an exception, but I prefer to have takebacks off all the time, to avoid any discussions about takebacks.
Obviously for #1 your opponent would be at fault in that situation. #2 I think giving them 5 minutes is a good policy, but nothing wrong with claiming a win at that point. #3 is up to you. I always give take backs for obvious mouse slips, but never give take backs for blunders unless it is just a casual game against a weaker player.
My opinions:
1) Pushing your opponent to play faster or by other means at all commenting a game during playing is very bad form and annoying.
2) If your opponent leaves the game he has no right to claim anything. If I have a clearly lost position I use to claim draw instead of win but that's optional.
3) Takebacks are gay. Just turn it off-
If the game is fun, and the player makes a stupid blunder(aka hangs the queen) I do offer takeback.
If the oponent makes an obvious mouse slip I also offer takeback.
Disclaimer: These rules do not apply to bullet.
1) You can easily mute your opponent and the chat so you can play without time pressure. You both agreed for one time control and you both have to manage the time as you want. (if you want to spend 10 min in the 4th movement you can because that's your decision) So, forget what people are saying, people asking you to play fast is being unpolite and they are just trying to make you blunder. Mute them and take the time you want using your time control.
2) If they disconnected even when they are in lost position, and they are out of game during many time, you have to claim the win. That's not unpolite or unfair, maybe they are winning because you blunder or you didnt play enough great, in all cases you could still win that game because THEY blunder. Than they leave in a won position is not a reason for give up; else, everyone would leave when they are in a win position just to avoid to make blunders. How many times we have been winning a game during the whole game and then in the end we blunder? So, no point of giving free games if they leave, you have to play until the end.
3) You can always chose the selection to not accept never take-backs and you avoid this problem; However, anyway maybe someone can still ask you it. That's little bit more delicate, take-back in chess is anti-game, because it has no point if you are taking-back all time you blunder.
I would considere 2 kind of blunders:
- Blunder because you didn't see enough: For example when you forget to defend one piece or your attack fails: THAT is unforgivable, you blunder and you must accept it (except if its casual or its your friend; else, you lose the game) you calculate it bad, forget one piece or played really fast; so accept the consecuences. (else, this kind of players, would win on time, they play really fast and if they blunder they take-back and they finally win on time.
- Mouseslip: That is more understanding than you may ask a take-back; that's not a problem of calculation or chess blunder, its just a mouseslip for whatever. In case of bullet or problems of time, you can't comeback because the time pressure is really huge and if you comeback you may lose the game on time. But in normal time controls like Blitz or Classical, I usually accept the take-back if someone make a mouse-slip. But if you don't want, so don't do it, its people's problem if they mouseslip. Many times, I didn't accept neither one come-back if they mouse-slip for many reasons like: "they are unpolite, bad players, etc etc"
1) Tell him to resign
2) Force resign him ASAP. He should buy a better Internet connection. Don't waste your time with peasants who have bad Internet.
3) Refuse them all. Go in options and disable takebacks. Win in any way you can.
lol I like #9 :D